capture my heart...

My Author, My Strength, and My Hope, 

Capture my heart. I give it all to you. My desires, my passions, and my mind. I give them all to You. Capture them and direct them towards Your shining light. Let me fall deeply and furiously in love with You. Consume me with Your word and open my eyes to things I can't see. Teach me how to love like You have loved me. I know I have doubted Your direction for my life. I know that You will never fail me or lead me down the wrong path. Your plan will always be better than mine. "Your loyal love, O Lord, supports me." Psalm 94:18 You are always by my side and You never leave me. Thank you for being constant, never changing, and everlasting. Capture my heart Lord...

moving mountains...

"Truly I say to you, if you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what has been done to the fig tree, but even if you say to this mountain, "Be taken up and thrown into the sea, it will happen. And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith." 

Matthew 21:21-22

This time in my life has had me thinking deeply about the Lord's upcoming plan for my life. Where will He send me? What will I do? But the Lord, in is everlasting grace, has whispered "Be still." I have been pondering all day this very thought. My future, His will, etc. I came home and stumbled upon this verse in Matthew and immediately knew that the Lord was in control. Because I am a daughter of the King, He has every step planned and has my very best interest in mind. He doesn't want me to compromise the world's plan for His because He cares for me. 

Let it be just like my Savior to not only send me one amazing truth, but two. My door is open and He has paved the way. So I must take a deep breath and allow my God to lead me and direct me into His plan. 

"I have set before you an open door, which no one is able to shut."

Revelation 3:8

My God and My Redeemer, 

The path before me is one I've never crossed before. My bags will be packed the same way, and the journey there will feel familiar and it probably won't hit me the same. It will be me. Me and You. Guide me into Your comfort and Your peace. Help me see that this is Your good and perfect will for my life. Give me faith to trust what you say and to know that Your will is good, and that Your love is great. 

mourning into dancing...

"You have turned my mourning into dancing; you have loosed my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness. That my glory may sing Your praises and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks to you forever." 

Psalm 30:12

We all go through rough times. Some of us have gone through experiences that have challenged our walks with Christ. They have made us who we are, and we wear our scars proudly. But there was a moment, in the middle of our trial and suffering, where we were in mourning. Every day was a struggle, every day we fought for the strength to keep moving forward. We are brought to the Lord on our knees and He never fails to pick us up and carry us through the battle. 

It is in that moment where we feel the strength of His love and compassion and we began to dance. Our mourning becomes dancing. Have you ever been there? So full of His love and mercy you feel like dancing? It is a truly amazing feeling. He covers me in gladness and removes my fitly, sinful rags.

So I challenge you, through good times and bad to worship Him. Worship Him with all that you have and all that you are. Dance with joy and do not be silent. 

here am I...

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I have been talking to a few of bloggers lately who say that they are struggling with something. Because this blogging world is so big, I can't sit and have coffee with all of you and help you through these tough times. I don't know what you are all going through but I can stand here and say with all confidence, you are not alone. The Lord is with you. 

Call out to Him: With everything you have, call out to Him. Ask Him to provide you with peace and understanding. His path is straight and leads you straight into His arms. 

He will answer: He will answer. It may not be now and it may be the answer you are looking for, but be still, He will answer. 

Here am I: He is with you. You may feel very much alone right now. You may be surrounded by friends and family, but inside you feel alone. Dear sister, He is with you. He is ready to carry you and take away all your fret and worrying.

"All of our fret and worrying is caused by calculating without God."

-Oswald Chambers

Don't try to solve your problem anymore. Give it all to Him. Say, "Speak Lord" and begin to see God's hand work in your life. Breathe and be at peace, because He is here for you. 

still, small voice...

Thank you Lord for this time of peace, for this time of quiet. You are always there. Every hour of every day. Thank you for speaking so loudly through the book of Nehemiah. I pray for strength Lord. So that in times of opposition, I may stand firm in You and in Your truths. When walls come crashing down, remind me of Your unfailing love and that You will help me rebuild. Thank you for new beginnings, fresh starts, and Your renewed mercies that will awaken me tomorrow. Thank you for Your still, small voice that is only loud enough for me to hear. You are my strength, my stronghold, and my forever.

my strength and my portion...

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There are times in life where I feel like I have failed. I will be the first one in the world to admit that I'm not perfect-at all. My flesh and my heart fail every.single.day. And yes, sometimes that's a hard thing to swallow. We must wake up everyday and realize that we will fail. If you are anything like me, a perfectionist an insane control freak who must have everything perfect and planned to a T, then this is a hard one for you. Not only will I not always meet my expectations, but I will always fail to meet the Lord's. 

But sweet soldier of the Lord, have hope. For the Lord is you strength. He gives you strength when you are searching for your next breath. He greets you at the end of the long race with a loving embrace and open arms. He is walking with you every step of the way and will never leave you.

Follower of the most high, take rest and know that He is your portion forever and ever. He never changes and His love is unconditional. He loves you even in your darkest of days and finds joy in your brightest moment. When you feel like you have nothing you can take rest in Him, He will carry you, He will provide for you. Because He has called you His...

my heart will trust in You...

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my heart will trust in You...

when i feel like i don't have the strength to trust

when i'm feeling happy 

when i'm feeling sad 

when life is hard 

when i'm reaping Your blessings

when i'm in the middle of the trials of life

when i feel like i'm going down the right path

when i'm unsure of Your will for my life 

when people doubt me 

when people are supporting me 

my heart will trust in You because You are my strength, my everything, my Savior, and my deliverer.

my heart will trust in You...

walk by faith...

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Life can bring us waves of fear. Times where we can't see the path in front of us clearly. We take every step with haste, wondering if the ground beneath us is safe and firm. It is in these steps we must offer every single part of ourselves to Him. All of our faith must be placed on Him, all of our fears, burdens, and anxiety. 

Over the past few days, I myself have been shaken by this feeling. In a few months, I will say goodbye to those who have changed my life. I will leave all that behind to go chase after what God has called me to. While the thought is exciting and I'm looking forward to a new experience, I can't help but be frightened by the unknown. Everything that has become so comfortable will become merely memories and I don't want to forget. 

I feel like I'm stepping onto uncharted territory and feel as though I'm not ready for the change. I feel like I'm taking a deep breath before plunging myself into ice cold water. I know what is coming, I know what it will feel like and that is the hardest part. 

But, I must have faith. I must stand firm in the promise and dreams that the Lord has already prepared me for. I need not fear because I am safe. The Lord is my strong tower.

In times like these, when fear has come over me, I must choose to believe that the Lord is with me, and will be at my side every step of the way.

A Step Forward....

The last few weeks have been a struggle. Life has brought me through an emotional roller coaster that I've never experienced before. The Lord has put me through situations that test everything He has taught me. But what do you do the Lord is silent? When He steps back and gives you the reigns. You have decisions to make, roads to travel down.

 Your whole being fills with anxiety and you began to think of the what ifs, the why nots, and every emotion at once. You begin to question your motives, and if you really are making the right decision. People will give you all sorts of opinions. But none of them seem right. You find yourself questioning why, how, and if you can make it without. You find a whole new perspective. Your eyes no longer see what in front of you, but much farther than that. Into the future and into the unknown.

Is it worth fighting for? Are you strong enough to fight? Can you fight while everyone is telling you to give up?

But there, in all the stress, happiness, anxiety, and excitement when God whispers, in a still small voice....I am with you. You are not alone and I will never forsake you.

Which road will you travel? Will you risk what you have or find safety in what you know? Whatever you do, the Lord is with you and He is holding your hand all the way through.

A Moment of Thankfulness

"But I will sing of Your strength; I will sing aloud of Your steadfast love in the morning. For you have been to me a fortress and a refuge in the day of my distress."
Psalm 59:16

What an amazing feeling it is sing. To lift your voice higher and sing praises to the One who gave you the breath to do so. It gives me so much joy. A joy that is indescribable in words. While leading worship is an amazing and humbling experience, it is difficult. It takes dedication, time, and patience. Last night was the first time I felt free. I let go and sang as if no one was listening, except the Lord. I wasn't worried about hitting my notes, singing the right words, or what I sounded like at all, I 100% let go. And for that, the Lord shined His love upon me. The words I was singing consumed me and I was overcome with happiness. So here I stand, thankful. Thankful to the One who allows me to lead worship. Thankful that His love never fails.

"Nothing can separate

Even if I ran away

Your love never fails

I know I still make mistakes

But You have new mercies for me everyday

Your love never fails

You stay the same through the ages

Your love never changes

There may be pain in the night

But joy comes in the morning

And when the oceans rage

I don't have to be afraid 

Because I know that You love me 

Your love never fails."

-Jesus Culture

Ever Sing For Joy....

Have you ever had one of those amazing "But God" moments? When the only explanation you can give is the hand of your savior? I know I have. It's truly unbelievable. Like many girls my age, I am constantly questioned by others in all directions, "Where are you going to school?" "What are your plans after college?". If you've been there, you know it can get exhausting. Its hard to reach the point in your life where you really don't know. But God. (Don't you just love those words) But God steps in and says, "My beloved child, I have a plan for you.", it's mind blowing. I still think I'm dreaming. You feel wrapped in the Fathers love and begin to live out the faith that you have so earnestly prayed for. 

This is exactly what I experienced merely weeks ago. I asked the Lord where He wanted me to go, He showed me. He showed me one college. Just one.  No other options even crossed my mind. I filled out my application and waited. And waited. And waited. While my friends where applying to 5-10 different colleges, I sat quietly and waited. But let me tell you, it was not easy. For what seemed like years, I prayed for the results. That God would let His will be done and show me exactly where He wanted me to go. I waited for 3 weeks and at the most unexpected moment, He showed me His plan. I was accepted to my bible college and I was overcome with joy. A joy that I have never felt in my entire life. He showed me that by simply following Him and listening to His still, small voice, He will take care of me. He paved the way for me, He opened the doors, and in 4 and a half months, I'll pack my bags and walk down the path He has set for me. 

I found this verse in Psalms last night and it explained everything I was feeling and experiencing. I found refuge in Him. He kept me safe and comforted me in times of hardship. So when people ask me what my plans are after I graduate, I can't help but smile and "ever sing for joy". Has the Lord done something great in your life lately? Has He answered prayers that you never thought He could answer? Then find your voice, stand up, and ever sing for joy.....

You are Loved...

If you feel lost, confused, rejected, alone, afraid, or empty, be still and know that you are loved by the one who put the stars in the sky. He makes the waves move, the sun rise, and flowers bloom. He knows your name. And He loves you....

Fear (Finding My Voice)

Fear. It's a consuming fire that is silent and can be easily disguised. There are moments when I walk out the door looking as though I have it all together. I look like the girl everyone sees. Little do they know, I may be falling apart on the inside. Just waiting for the moment that I can come home and dwell on the judgmental comment they just made. Spending hours wondering if what they said is true, how I can fix it, etc. Fear is not something you can fake. It's real and is the most destructive thing I know and I know it well. It covers my entire mind, a battle I have lost time and time again. But this friends is where I have to make a choice. Do I let this thought consume me for days, reminding myself each time I look in the mirror? Or do I stand firm in the truth that the Lord has chosen me and delights in me? This is a daily battle. The Lord has shown me in the last year that He truly has a plan for me. He loves me. He cares for me and knows me by name. I lean solely on my everlasting rock because His love.never.fails.

"I will praise the Lord who counsels me; even at night my instructs me. I have set the Lord always before me because He is at my right hand. I will not be shaken."
Psalm 16:7-8 

Confidence...(Finding My Voice)

           

I found this on Pinterest the other day and was inspired nearly immediately. These seven words hit me very strongly when I read them the first time, and even stronger has they have been tossing around my mind the past couple days. Entering this whole "blogging world" has been rather intimidating! I now fully understand the enormous amounts of time and effort it takes to produce content regularly.

When I first decided I wanted to make a blog, I was quite scared and self conscious about the idea. "Who would possibly want to read my blog? I'll never be as good or have as many followers as the bigger bloggers out there. What do I write about? Is this too mundane or boring to post?" But after reading this little quote (author unknown), a spark was lit underneath me and a lot of my blogging insecurities began to fade away. Ultimately, I started this blog to be able to release my thoughts and ideas onto paper. (Or a keyboard.......you know what I'm saying.) If people see, read, and enjoy, then that makes it much better and fun for me.

Anyway, this quote isn't just about blogging. For years it seems I have dealt with very little self esteem. Only since about a year ago did I truly start to just let go and be the real me. In result of that, this has been one of the best years of my life. Its amazing to not care about what people think of my hair, how I dress, how I talk, or anything else. You would be amazed at the type of people that will enter your life when you start being the real you. Trust me, conforming to the person others want you to be will never make you feel better about yourself. My education, personal style, friends, etc. are not my status symbols. With all this being said, I have a few things to say to those of you who struggle with self confidence like I still do.

Don't be so quick to follow the masses: Don't follow the crowds. Everyone listening a certain type of music? Stay true to your style, blast the jazz if your into it! Everyone wearing the same things? Wear things that make you feel comfortable in your own skin, not someone else's.

Don't let the mirror be your enemy: While we are talking about clothes, this has always been a hard thing for me. Let's face it, I stick out like a sore thumb. For years, I've been the pale, freckle-faced, redhead that everyone stares at in public. I'm used to the "ginger" jokes and brush them off now. Recently I've been loving my red hair, it's unique and makes me feel special. I've also struggled with excepting my body for what it is. I've always have a unique body shape them most girls. Newsflash! Everyone does! Everyone is different! I've never liked anything about skinny jeans, nothing about them. My body shape isn't made for pants like that. Now, if you like them, all power to you! I've learned that squeezing yourself into clothes just so you can be a 2, 4, 8, or 10 isn't worth it.

Surround yourself with people who support you and love you for who you are: I have some of the best friends in the world. I may not need another hand to count all of them, but I wouldn't replace them for anything. We all accept each other for who we are, flaws included. Like I said before, don't try to conform to the person others want you to be.

Settle for nothing less then you, because you.are.worth.it.

Finding My Voice....

It can be extremely difficult to be young woman in today's culture. It seems everywhere we look there is a picture of how we should dress, what type of man we should be dating, what size our pants should be, what color our hair should be, I could go on and on. It can be incredibly overwhelming. Although I find myself obsessed with beauty culture of the internet, constantly I remind myself to always remain true to who I am.

I have been singing now for roughly 6 years. It is one of my most favorite things to do in my life. I almost don't feel like I'm in the same body when I sing. I feel alive, renewed, and completely safe.
(But this is another story.) Every singer has there own voice. Their own style and their own way of creating art through their voice. Same with writers, we all go about things a certain way. Even though we all may not sing or write, we all are our own person. Regardless of how the world sees the "common woman", I challenge each one of you to challenge yourself to stay true to you. Step back, sing your song, and find your voice.