Fear. It's a consuming fire that is silent and can be easily disguised. There are moments when I walk out the door looking as though I have it all together. I look like the girl everyone sees. Little do they know, I may be falling apart on the inside. Just waiting for the moment that I can come home and dwell on the judgmental comment they just made. Spending hours wondering if what they said is true, how I can fix it, etc. Fear is not something you can fake. It's real and is the most destructive thing I know and I know it well. It covers my entire mind, a battle I have lost time and time again. But this friends is where I have to make a choice. Do I let this thought consume me for days, reminding myself each time I look in the mirror? Or do I stand firm in the truth that the Lord has chosen me and delights in me? This is a daily battle. The Lord has shown me in the last year that He truly has a plan for me. He loves me. He cares for me and knows me by name. I lean solely on my everlasting rock because His love.never.fails.
"I will praise the Lord who counsels me; even at night my instructs me. I have set the Lord always before me because He is at my right hand. I will not be shaken."