Monday, December 9, 2013

lessons from my first semester...

Oh my sweet readers, how I miss you. I know that my absence on the blog has been so frequent and for that I am sorry. But I can assure you I am working so very hard on many other awesome opportunities! I am so very excited to release everything to you! Be patient guys!
For now I thought it would be good if I shared with you how the Lord has been at work in my very first semester! I can't believe that it has been 3 months. As I read over my past posts, I am amazed on how the Lord is provided.

One simple email, one simple sentence changed everything roughly eleven months ago. “Congratulations, you have been accepted…”. Not knowing what adventures were ahead, bags were packed along with the hope of the life I had always wanted.

That two hour drive can be remembered clearly. It was filled with good-bye texts, good-luck phone calls, long sighs, and prayer. The passing tress in the window represented the passing of my current stage of life. The Lord was opening new doors and I pressed my eyes forward. Minutes seemed like seconds and before we knew it, we had arrived to my new home. The card reader beeped as we swiped our hotel room key through. All I could do was sit out on the patio and think about what was before me. In less than 24 hours, I would be meeting my roommates, signing in, and saying goodbye to a life that had become so familiar. As I watched the sunset, I thought about the words to pray and couldn’t think of any. I felt ashamed that as such a time as this, I couldn’t even come to my Savior with words of thankfulness. But in this moment, He calmed my heart and promised me that He knew exactly what He was doing. The continental breakfast didn’t sit well the next morning as the thoughts of new beginnings swirled in my head like the creamer in my coffee. I buckled my seatbelt with no reserves and no expectations.

 The days passed and I began to settle in, I felt so much peace. As I taped pictures up on my wall of my life back home, I slowly began to realize that the home I was looking for was not far from my line of vision. My home became room California 130. Home is where the Christmas lights are always on and the laughter coming from inside can be heard from doors down. The beauty of the Lord’s creation has been something to treasure over my few months at bible. The early sunrises before my early morning shifts make all the exhausting days worth it.  I can walk feet away from my dorm and walk around a beautiful lake and watch the sunrise or sunset. I can’t think of another place where I’d rather be.

 As the stresses of classes, homework, and my job began to pile up, I wondered how much longer I could take it. This was when He taught me the one lesson I wouldn’t have learned on my own, how to be content in Him. How to find peace and rest in Him because I don’t even know how to rest myself. Even when I have the opportunity to worry, He always covers me with a peace only He can give. During the days where every minute is planned and I’m questioning His providence, He comes in and exceeds my expectations.

Isn’t it annoying that we are constantly asked on Facebook to “Update Your Profile”. No, I don’t need to, nothing has changed. That little white box in the corner of our laptops beg for us to install a system update. A red notification constantly reminds us of our apps that need to be updated. We are guaranteed “Bug Fixes”, “A Brand New Look” or “Performance Enhancements”.  But have we continually hit “Ignore”, “Maybe Later”, or “Remind Me Tonight”.  Why? Why do we delay the process? Despite the inconvenience of waiting and installation, the updates are always worth it. We watch the blue bar grow until we can continue on with our lives. Are we delaying our spiritual updates? The Lord wants to work in each and every one of our lives in a special and unique way. I was ignoring His update for my life. I had ignored my need for spiritual restoration and continued to work off of my own strength, my own time, my own steam.  Day after day, I hit the “Ignore” button in my mind, as I made myself busy with all of my “spiritual assignments”. I continued to write my papers on the Holy Spirit without having Him work through me. I read scriptures ensuring me of His sovereignty when I was still questioning every moment in my life. He wanted desperately to take me away and spend time healing my soul. He just had to take me 2 hours away from where I was comfortable to do so. This was when He took hold of my heart. He captured it and made it His. I began to fall in love with my Creator. Each day brings a new aspect of divine romance. The words I read from my Bible are no longer black and white, but full of life, love, and promises written specifically written for me.

Nothing teaches us about the preciousness of the Creator as much as when we learn the emptiness of everything else.”- Charles Spurgeon

            During my first semester here at bible college, the Lord has been teaching my heart the beauty and the gift of emptiness. This particular emptiness does not mean loneliness or lack of worth, but merely the joy of emptying myself before Him. Allowing Him to fill me up every single day. Allowing Him to reveal things to me that I never would have seen myself. Coming before Him with an open mind and a heart that is ready for an update.

No comments:

Post a Comment

I love comments, I truly do. So leave one at the beep....