Wednesday, October 9, 2013

deeper than i could wander...

Let me walk upon the waters wherever You would call me 
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander 

This is my prayer. My hearts desire and all I long for. 

These past 43 days have been a whirlwind. I realized this as I took communion during our weekly Sunday Night Chapel. As I sang those words above, I thought of all the times since I have been here that I have doubted God. Doubted Him about how He will keep me safe, how I will be able to pay for next semester, etc. Every aspect of my life I have thought waay too long and hard about. And here I am saying that it needs to stop. 

Does anyone else feel sore? No, not like the "I-just-did-a-major-workout"sore. I mean spiritually sore. I have been strengthened by more scripture and biblical training in the past month and a half than I have in my entire life. Boy, am I exhausted. But in a totally amazing way. 

It is so easy here to loose sight of why I came. After spending hours working on a Romans paper or a word study, sometimes the last thing I want to spend more time in the Word. It really is the worst feeling! It's hard to go through a whole day of classes and work and not be spiritually exhausted. BUT, my God is the ultimate provider. He will give me the strength I need. It always seems that whenever I need strength the most, He always provides just enough to get through the day.

I must admit to you all, I haven't put a lot of trust in the Lord this month. Everything that has happened, every moment, every second guess, I have tried to figure it out on my own.  First off, when has that ever worked out? Second off, who I am I to not place 110% of my trust into my Lord. After all, He is the one that brought me here. He has placed me into every situation for a reason. Getting caught up on every detail will just stress me out. It is just not worth it because God knows exactly what He is doing.

If I have any faith or trust in Him at all, I must walk where He has called me. Only my dear Savior can lead me deeper then I could ever wander. Why would I want to just sit on the shore when He can take my hand and lead me to the waters? Can it be difficult, physically and spiritually exhausting? Yes. But ultimately He is breaking down my own selfish walls and lead me into experiences I never could on my own.


  1. Your faith to this day amazes me girl. we all have struggles and we all have trials and tribulations but God is always there. Rain or shine. Day or night. He's there so lean on him.

  2. Dear girl, I think you'll find that Bible college is a huge stretching, growing place. I'm the first to admit that going to a Bible college ruined and then restored my relationship with the Lord. I even wrote a post on it. ;-) How wonderful that you're learning more and more that the Lord is the one you need to put all your trust into!

  3. Great post and new to your blog! Enjoying reading it!!! The best part about our walk with God is that we never walk alone. He is always by our side.


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