Fact about Lauren: I am a total control freak. If I don't know what is going at all times, every minute of the day, I get anxious and crazy. Most of the time, I have my day planned out hour by hour. Things I have to accomplish, events to go to, etc. If something changes.....woah....it can get ugly 'round these parts. With that being said, this past year was very very difficult for me in that respect. My life changed in many ways in a matter of days. I started my first job, I was accepted into my bible college, I started to lead worship for my youth group, started my second job, awhile I was trying to finish up my senior year. That makes me tired just reading it. I can't even remember how I made it through the weeks. (Actually, yes I can, lots of coffee!) As I look back on all of that,
So here I am, writing you this post a week before I leave for school. A week before I pack my things, leave the family, and start a new chapter of my life. Some people shake their heads. Some of you may be asking yourself these questions.
"Why would you spend two years at a bible college?"
"Shouldn't you spend your time at a 4 year, accredited, state school?"
"How will you possibly be able to support yourself??"
After weeks of receiving the same questions over and over, I quickly found the best way to respond.
1. Because I have a hunger and thirst to learn more about God's word! This time will never be returned post void!
2. Because the Lord brought me one school. One. It was clear that this is where He wanted me to go. I don't know why, but I'm going anyway. I've learned the hard way to listen the first time when He tells you to go somewhere. (Hellllooo?? The story of Jonah everyone??)
3. I will be supporting myself. I will be going to my bible college to get my Associates in Theology and specializing in Worship Ministry. I want to sing. I love to lead worship. My prayer is to return to my church here after my two years at school with much more knowledge than before. I want to be fully equipped if I am going to be entering ministry. As far financial support goes, my plan right now is to return home after two years and start cosmetology school. I will get my cosmetology license and start working at a salon. I wanted to find a career that was flexible. Why? Because my hearts desire is to be a Godly wife and mother.
There you go. I have prayed for a long time about all these decisions. I have come to the Lord with open hands offering all this up to Him. It is all I can give. He has all the rest. These plans may change or they may stay the same, all I desire is for His name to be glorified!
Have you ever walked down the stairs in the dark? You've done it a million times, your feet know what to. But still, there is the fear that you may miss a step. By faith, you keep walking. By faith, you put all your trust, being, and life into something you can't even see. That is what I must do. Walk into this journey with open eyes and joy in my heart. He has paved the path...He knows the way.